Princess with a Cursed Sword
Princess Salazie
A figure stands in an ancient ruin, bare feet on crumbling stone. Her gown far too fine, her sword much too dark. At a princess’ coming of age ceremony, an uninvited guest gifted her a sword, then vanished, laughing, into smoke. She cannot put it down until she finds the place it came from. So she has come.
- What does her gown signify? Prince of Swords
- Why are her feet bare? 5 of Wands
- What does her sword want? 10 of Swords
Princess Salazie was basically, a mad lad -no, a mad gal. To be precise, the most intelligent mad gal. How does that work? Well basically she was like Mozart or Edgar Allen Poe. She had the most genius ideas but all volatile due to too much thoughts and worries. Her ticktocking eyeballs and busy hands were symptoms of her capricious mind.
The only time her busy brain stopped working was when she danced alone in her room. With record of music played in the background, Sal gave herself to her body. With no one watching, her barefeet glided across the marble floor and her body moved the way her spirit wanted -without fear of judgement. Immersed deep in the moment, her mind finally took a rest.
Despite Sal's effort to keep her leisurely pursuit just to herself, the rumour on Princess' covert delight spread.
"The Princess dances with the devil alone in her room."
"Her movement is nothing of the elegant Waltz but more of an obscene nature."
Her parents were of course worried. So after the coming of age ceremony had ended, they called her and persuaded her to stay a while in the abbey to build some focus and tranquillity of mind.
Still in her ceremony gown -sleeves all withered from constant fidgeting- Sal walked out confused.
'If my vices were such a grave matter they should have sent me to the abbey when I was younger, why now? Is it because of that unreasonable rumour that chatterbox Lucy spread? Do they really think I'm dancing with the devil or something? It's not like I am indulged into my art. I have always thought I am quite alright at keeping my head clear. I don't understand my parents. What do they want me to be?'
Deep in her thoughts, she found herself at the garden where the ceremony was held. Everything was tidied away -except for one gift, that supposed cursed sword which everyone was yapping about.
'Strange, servants must've put it into the storage if something like this was lying around.'
She picked up the sword. And suddenly she had a rush of desire to run away from her parents' plan which she perceived as her exile.
'But leave to where? Perhaps to Mami Cila's castle, she'll welcome her favourite grand daughter. But now? Like now now? It's dark. It's too dangerous to go through the city at this time. Through the Forbidden Forest could be better. But it's forbidden for good reason... The Sword will guide me. Leave. NOW!!!!'
Sal snapped out. She didn't understand what just happened with that rush of thoughts. But she was soon filled with irrational urge to leave.
She looked down at her shoes to choose the one that would assist her journey . But all were heels, incredibly beautiful but painful. Whenever she wore these her toes was mushed by ingrown toenails and her sole formed blisters and her heels peeled by the stiff counter. She was sure that whoever made these heels must have been a sadistic psychopath.
'Screw it.' and so she left, barefeet.
The 1st Ruin: Princess of Swords
Sal climbed down the window. Although the sword was as long as her torso it was feather light. Walking the pavement in silence of the night, Sal thought, 'Thank goodness I am not wearing those clacking heels in this ungodly hour.'
She soon reached the White Court. Most of the court was in shadows casted by overgrown trees. The marble floor dimly lit by the moonlight had weeds growing out of every cracks. The place was vaguely familiar but the princess couldn't pinpoint how she knew this place; 'probably some old playground she hung out as a child' she thought.
As she was traversing the court, a voice came from the shadows.
"Where are you going, Princess?"
Sal, surprised didn't answer.
"Hey, Princess I asked. Where are you going at this hour?"
"Who are you?"
"What does it matter if you know my identity?"
"I repeat. Who are you?" Sal clutched the sword.
Alas the smoke came from the darkness. The shape shaped into a ghostly figure looking identical to the princess.
"Why, I am you. Ghost of your evaporated ideas, amalgamation of your self torturous thoughts, sewage of worries you chewed and spat fearing failure."
Sal scoffed. She thought of ignoring it and just get along with her journey to the night. But then again, why not put this so-called 'cursed Sword' to the test?
"Move or I will fight." Sal held up the Sword.
The Sword gleamed under the moonlight. Sal just realised that she never really took a good look at the Sword until now; the copper hilt was made of copper, the guard had two waxing and waning crescents back to back, the steel blade was straight, pointed and sharp.
The figure stared at the Sword for awhile. Just before Sal couldn't wait no more, it spoke, "We will see again. Hopefully by then you know your Sword well." Smiling, the figure vanished into thin air.
Sal was relieved that the figure had left, and hurried her path -for she was still in the Castle ground.
The 2nd Ruin: 2 of Cups
Sal immediately recognised the second ruin when she arrived. It was a small secluded yard with a fountain where she and her girlfriend used to secretly meet.
Sal, like any other teenagers, was unsure of her sexuality. She liked boys but sometimes she liked girls. Did she like girls in the same way she liked boys? What did 'like' even mean? She wanted to know and she learned. She liked a girl. Actually the gender didn't matter. She loved that girl. Only the statues adorning the fountain witnessed what the two did underneath the stars.
For reasons only she knew, Sal ended the relationship. Perhaps she was scared, or just wasn't in her anymore. Either way the water that used to reflect their love was now stagnant and putrid.
When she was feeling bittersweet in the reminiscence of the past, the two decomposing fish in the water spoke.
"Sometimes she wonders whether you just wanted to experiment. Were you?"
It was the question that tortured Sal's mind with guilt.
"You were never serious with her. It was just a phase."
She didn't answer.
"So are you happy now?"
The fish kept on taunting her.
Alas she drew the Sword. The two fish turned and fused into a two-headed Dragon oozing sludge from its scales.
(Coin flip: 2 heads) Sal, under the influence of the Sword not only defeated, but went farther to dismember the Dragon.
When her barefoot accidentally stepped on one of the mutilated parts, she finally snapped out from the slaughter. She fathomed out the Sword's malevolence. She was startled but soon thought that she could use it to her advantage along the perilous journey.
And so, she tore the hem of her dress, wiped the black blood off her hands, and walked away clutching the Sword.
The 3rd Ruin: 6 of Wands
Sal finally reached the East Gate of the palace. Just outside the Gate was the Forbidden Forest. The Forest was known to be enchanted and the Gate was often left unguarded because no one with sane mind dared to loiter there.
Princess grew up hearing the tales of unfortunate victims in the woods. Now she could be one of those poor lost souls.
'Should I just go back? Do I even know the way through this Forest? But it is the only 'safe' way to Mami's. I will use the star as vectors and tie ribbons of my dress just in case.'
'Just go already!' Something inside her, tired of her pondering, snapped.
Sal was soon filled with urge to break the lock of the Gate. (Coin flip: 2 heads) She struck the lock with the Sword. The lock shattered into pieces.
Before leaving, she saw the engraving of the Gate that depicted the victory lead by her father. She couldn't help but ask herself,
'Will I ever become someone greater than him?'
The 4th Ruin: Adjustment
Contrary to her worries, the first ruin she encountered in the Forbidden Forest was an old abandoned shrine. She went into the shrine, and walked the hallway that lead to the altar. In front of the altar there was the giant statue of her patron Goddess, the Goddess of Balance. She speculated that this shrine was the one used before people built the new one next to the city court, hoping for justice to be served.
Sal always tried to live up to the virtue of this Goddess of sharp Sword. Her actions were carefully taken after thousands of deliberations. She wondered if she did well.
The Statue spoke, "My girl, I represent Adjustment, an active effort, for balance. I do not represent Justice, a passive state of waiting for Judgement to do the work. Say, have you worked to balance yourself? Or did you sway to the extreme?"
Sal contemplated, 'What does she mean? I think I am quite balanced, always in self-control. If I was ever unfair or swayed to the extreme, it's all because I had good reasons for it. I believe I released my stress at appropriate times for appropriate amount of time. See? I worship Reason. Oh my, it annoys so much to be unsure and uncertain. People think I am flawed yet they don't tell me why. People make up unreasonable stories about me. If they are so better than I am, why don't they tell me what exactly I need to be or at least what I need to do?!'
Her thought escalated into annoyance, then soon into fury. She unconsciously griped the Sword.
(Coin flip: 1 head) She dashed, jumped and tried stabbing the Statue. She was driven by irrational hate amplified by the Sword; hate for her incapability to understand what she lacked and for others who didn't give her the answers.
The Statue never actually fought back but slightly tilted left and right to avoid her attacks. After all the Goddess didn't want to kill this poor princess without insight. After multiple attempts, however, Sal finally stabbed the Statue on the chest. The Statue crumbled down.
Through the broken pieces, the Spirit of the Goddess dissipated. And as she did, she whispered, "Little Girl, you think too much. You have to let go of yourself to find the answer. And you, only you can find the answer to your questions."
A Goddess death must be one of the most harrowing tragedy. Sal felt rush of enormous guilt and condemned the Sword.
"Why did you do that? I didn't want to kill her..."
But deep down she knew. At the end of the day, she was the one swinging the Sword.
The 5th Ruin: Princess of Wands
Deeper inside the forest, Sal found dozen of figures dancing around a giant bonfire.
'That must be the Eternal Bonfire the legend talks about. Mami Cila used to tell me witches dance around them at Esbats. Strange, tonight isn't even the full moon or any significant moon."
Upon close inspection, they were naked men and women wearing masks made of barks and feathers. It didn't seem like an organised ritual though. Everyone was dancing or singing or just moving as one pleased. They were like savages, an utterly chaotic ones.
Then a hand stopped her from further approach. Sal startled, turned back and saw a naked man in a dirty muddy mask holding his clothes.
"Shhh, Princess. Please don't go any closer."
"Who are you folks? What are you doing in this forest?"
"We are just people, people from all classes in the Kingdom. We don't know and we don't try to know who each other is. And for good reasons we keep it that way.
People brave or desperate enough come here to purge their strain, cleanse their souls and fill themselves with light. We do whatever our bare bodies please and will, as long as they don't trespass other's wills. You see, some dance like a total maniac, some sings until their throat hurt, some just plunge themselves into the mud from evening drizzle. Some, if agreed of course, make love. Thus anonymity is crucial to allow this sacred individual -but at the same time communal- practice.
We come when we want and leave when we want. Some come everyday, some come once in a while."
Sal was astonished. What an amazing and liberating idea? How did this ingenious event turn into a sinister rumour?
Sal wished she could join. When was the last time she danced her heart out? These days she could no longer immerse into the rhythm, for thought of rumour kept creeping in like an unwanted guest. Even during the royal ball during her coming of age ceremony, she refused to dance fearing judgement from others.
'If my steps are awkward, they would think that Princess presumably dancing all night alone can only do that much. If I dance too well, people would surely think the rumour is true.'
"So Princess, would you like to join? If you do, I will lend you my mask and step back until you come back after spewing your heart out. I solemnly swear that I will not reveal your identity."
There was warm consideration in his voice that broke her chain of thoughts.
Just when Sal thought she would say 'yes,' a sinister voice whispered inside her.
'Are you sure? You don't even know who this man is. He can turn you into a total and irreversible mockery... He is the witness of your escape... Kill him... Actually, kill all of these obscene people. These people broke the law and entered the Forbidden Forest. What if they are just conspirators against your family? Hey, you know what? Some of those people could be one of those royals who talked behind your back. Hypocrites, right?'
(Coin flip: 1 head) Sal struck the man with the Sword. She thought it would be pretty easy to pierce through his heart as he was naked. But she barely missed it and the Sword penetrated his Stomach. Or did she really miss it? After all, an injury to the heart causes quicker death and that to the stomach leads to slower and painful one. Can it be that the Sword (or she) intentionally did so?
The man's eye went wide and soon frowned in agony. Then he saw Sal's eyes filled with confusion, guilt, anger and conflict. He turned back, holding his bleeding stomach walked slowly into the thick woods, away from the Bonfire where people sang and danced in catharsis.
Before he disappeared into the darkness he waved at her,
"Princess, I hope your mind finds peace."
Sal clenched her teeth and decided to destroy this abomination on her hands as soon as she finds an appropriate place.
The 6th Ruin: Princess of Cups
Sal marched and looked around to let go of the Sword. Far away she could hear the waterfall. She once read that moving water, like streams are incredibly efficient in Cleansing. Waterfall will do for this wretched object.
But as she got closer to it, she saw nymphs bathing and singing. The species with keen ears heard her and invited her into the water.
"Poor soul, You are weary. Come let us wash off the blood on your hands."
The nymphs felt like the mothers of mothers or sisters she never had but wished she did. Considering her far ancestor being the daughter of God and a forest nymph, the former could have been true. Sal felt incredible warmth in their hospitable words and gestures.
She allowed herself to be dragged by refreshingly cold but soft hands... until she felt she was in too deep. By reflex she grasped her Sword.
(Coin flip: 2 heads) And just like that, the Swords slashed the nymphs. Sal found herself in the pool of shiny blue blood.
Mumbling her apologies, she fleeted back into the woods.
The 7th Ruin: Fortune
Sal heard some giggles near her. Scared, she quickly sneaked behind the bushes. She saw a derelict carnival carriage with giant wheel of fortune. She wondered how it ended up in this forest. Three figures bickered around a wheel. Upon closer look, there was the Hermanubis trying to spin the wheel, the Typhon trying to stop it, and the Sphinx balancing on top of the rim. Sal recognising these entities from the myths, was astonished but nervous. So she decided to lay low.
Despite her effort to keep a low profile, the three noticed her.
"Hello, there! Come out, we don't bite." said the Sphinx, seeing her from the peak of the wheel.
"I might bite that dog though -if he keeps on messing around with the wheel." hissed the Typhon lying comfortably on a particularly blunted spoke.
"Come on, this spoke has been up for a while. What goes up must come down. And will go back up! It's a wheel, it's supposed to spin!" cajoled the Hermanubis.
"I see our Princess struggling with some changes too." observed the Sphinx.
"In one night my life has turned from a bearable bad dream to an absolute nightmare. I ran away from misunderstandings and uncertainty. And ever since I kept on making horrible choices under the influence of a Sword that wants to ruin just about everything. I regret taking this Sword with me."
"But you took it anyways. And look what it did." scoffed the Typhon.
"Does it show? It's right that the Sword wants to ruin everything? That's the curse, isn't it?" Sal begged for validation.
"Maybe the ruin was to come. Maybe you were to face it. Maybe that's what you needed, change." cheered the Hermanubis.
"I don't understand." muttered Sal.
"Here, have a look at this flower." Sphinx pointed at a flower bud, with a size of her palm, growing out from the centre of the wheel.
The bud bloomed into a flower, and like any flowers would be it was beautiful. But it was unlike anything she saw before. The petals were almost transparent, their iridescence what made it visible. The pistil was silver and stamens were golden.
Just when Sal's admiration for the flower became so great that she forgot her own problems, the flower started wither. Every second the fragile petals shed and dissolved into the ground, Sal felt pain. Finally the flower was gone. Seconds later another sprout rose from the centre, grew into a bud and blossomed to a even more beautiful flower than the one she just saw.
Sal admitted that her struggles were meant to happen, and perhaps were necessary. Easily put, stuff just happens; and stuff must happen for the Change.
She thanked the three entities and left the place. And the three went back to squabbling about the churning machine.
The 8th Ruin: The Universe
Sal thought of the best place to bring peace to the Sword. The Waterfall where the nymphs were. Moving water is one of the most powerful cleansing medium. What water would be better than that directly from the Waterfall? It will wash the curse off the Sword and flow it to faraway. And as disturbing as it sounds, if any of the nymphs' blood was left, it will heal the water if it gets tainted during the process.
But when she went back to the Waterfall, it was gone and only a lake was left. Nymphs' blue blood floating on the lake unmixed like oil spills, was the evidence that it was the same place she was before. Sal didn't bother to understand, since reason wasn't something natural in this forest. She knelt down to submerge the Sword deep into the lake.
The water was so clear that it reflected what was above; the woods, the stars, clouds that covered the moon, and her -or so she thought. On closer look, Sal realised that what was above was also below the lake. Below the lake were the same woods, the same stars and clouds covering the moon and her. The only difference was that the wind was blowing in the opposite direction -unlike what a reflection would show.
The Universe was below the lake as it was above it.
"I can't irresponsibly throw this Sword into the Universe. I've already done too much damage."
And so she left, hoping to find a better way.
The 9th Ruin: Queen of Wands
The Sun was starting to rise from the East. It looked like a giant blazing torch from the dark edge of the wood. The beam of light seemed to wash away Sal's exhaustion and darkness. She felt like slowly waking up from a dreadfully long nightmare. But she knew that none of what had happened was a mere dream. The weight of the cursed Sword was heavy. And she could feel that if it could it would even try to cut down the sun.
On her way she came across the bonfire. The fire was still burning but everyone was gone. Sal was amazed how the fire was still burning on and within the same firewood. And then she noticed an old red haired woman with a leopard putting her hand into the fire. The fire shrunk and shrunk and finally was extinguished.
"I'm the Queen of all fires, the mother of all flames. I was born from the sun and nurtured by this woods." introduced the woman.
"If you are so, please melt this piece of metal. Turn it back to what it was before it." requested Sal.
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because the Sword is you. The Sword is your thought. If I melt it, your thoughts will be gone. You will have no thoughts."
"But this Sword is my worst enemy. It's worse than any of the threats I encountered all night! I had thoughts long before some wicked guest dropped me this." cried Sal.
"Yes. That's right. Your thought is your worst enemy. And it came to you, materialised, just when you needed to face your mind, change and grow. After all didn't you get this gifted when you became of age?" calmly explained the woman.
The woman left the dumbfounded Princess.
The 10th Ruin: 10 of Swords
Sal had an idea of where to go -the White Court. She sneaked back into the Gate, passed the fountain and returned to the Court that was dimly lit by the dawn sky. There was no one in the court, but a statue. A statue of her younger self.
"Hello, we meet again. You seemed to have suffered a rough night." The statue spoke to her in a familiar voice.
"The Sword ruined everything. Or maybe it was my mind spawning conflict, frustration, worries and sorrows ruining everything." confessed Sal.
"Why did you leave?"
"I didn't want to go to the abbey."
"Why not?"
"What would I do there wasting my youth away among stoic ladies."
"Then what do you want to do?"
Sal then recognised that she didn't know what she wanted. What's her passion?Her Desire? The flame inside her? Her Will? Easy answer could be dancing. Since that was when she felt like herself the most. She desired to dance under the light with all eyes on her, for that would mean the world perceiving her as who she really is. Hey, why not even dance bare? That indeed sounded very liberating. Sal slipped a silly smile, while her head was deep inside the rosy imagination.
"But it's not that simple. You have dignity to maintain. Perhaps a Prince or a Duke to marry to fortify the Kingdom's alliance. Have you thought of your parents' disappointment if you chose to dance? Do you remember their suspicion and disappointment when they heard about the rumour?" The statue knew what she thought and taunted her.
That moment Sal felt immense frustration, and stabbed the statue with the Sword -this time, with her own unhampered Will. And just like that the statue and the Sword shattered. And just like that she felt free. Free from her mind.
Her heart pounded from excitement for unknown future. She slowly walked away, then dashed. Dashed into the woods. And that was Sal's last moment in the Kingdom's ground.
Epilogue: Lust
The show started. A woman with a dramatic make up and a Scarlet slip dress cat-walked into the stage. It was the dancer people came to see; The greatest dancer of the era. Everyone clapped out of anticipation and excitement.
Her dance was sometimes in time with the music and sometimes deliberately off the beat. She was the one controlling the music. Her flow was sometimes graceful and sometimes powerful. There was dignity and vulgarity, spirituality and sexuality in her movement. All eyes were on her, filling themselves with her overwhelming energy. At last the audience became One with the Scarlet Woman.
Review
I always wanted to try TTRPG, but I never did for two reasons; 1. I had/have no friends 2. even if I did, I doubt they will have patience for my slow improvisation. That's why Solo-RPG is perfect for me. I like to sit down alone with my notebook and I can take as much or less time I want to progress the game.
Since it was my first go, I wanted to try a free one. And I found Princess with a Cursed Sword by Anna Anthropy. It used Tarot cards as prompts. Perfect. That's more bonding with my deck (as if the bond couldn't get any stickier). Everything was on 1 page. Simple. Good.
But then I realised; simple, not good. When I first read the directions as a Solo-RPG newbie, I was confused by so much freedom. What? Is this it? Can I really make up whatever I wanted? I wasn't sure if I understood the 'rules' correctly. So I looked up how others did (this Youtube stream helped me a lot to get the hang of it).
Of course I had to make this into some kind of ritual. I sat down with my beloved Thoth deck, Traveler's notebook and a glass of rhum (alcohol stimulates creativity right?). I decided to revolve the Princess around cards I pull and I pulled the Knight of Swords. Ah crap. Court cards and I aren't really best friends. We are definitely friends but that's just because we had mutual friends and we've known each other for a long time. So I had to think for a very long while to think up something relevant to the card I pulled.
My brain was cultured in a square. So it took some time to be flexible enough to be creative. Sometimes I had an instant inspiration and wrote down flashing thoughts reenacting a genius writer. But most of the time I pulled the card, thought about it almost the whole day about it, and then came back when I finalised the story in my head. It took 3 days to finish the journey.
Was this a game? If Cambridge Dictionary defines game as an entertaining activity then without doubt YES because it was very entertaining to daydream about my Princess. The journey felt like childhood adventures. As a kid I used to go on 'explorations.' I didn't know what I was going to do or encounter running around the park. But I knew that I was going to have fun.
And a very spiritual one too. I've been lazy with my Tarot practices lately. This game definitely helped me reconnect with my deck and explore more into Crowley's writings to get more inspiration for the story.
Overall, I could say it was my successful start of Solo-RPG. The only thing I wish is that I wish I'd recorded everything digitally for the ease of blogging. Oh, and perhaps less meticulous and more forgiving about repetition of words and grammar. I spent way too much time trying to make this into something more than it should be.
In anyways, I am grateful for the author, Anna Anthropy, who shared her creation for free so that lurkers like myself can finally join the fun.